We are not amused.

 Queen Elizabeth I

By outward signs do not be cheated, an ass should like an ass be treated. 

 John Gay

Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream.


I beseech you in the bowels of Christ consider the possibility you may be mistaken.  

 Oliver Cromwell

A delusion, a mockery and a snare.                        Lord Denman

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

 Barry Goldwater

A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.   

 Ambrose Bierce

You only live once but if you do it right, once is enough              

Between two evils I always take the one i haven't tried before._

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

The irrepressible Mae West >>>>>>>

(Life) is a tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury signifying nothing.     

 From  Macbeth


Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. 

 Actor Edmund Gwenn on his deathbed

 (Also attributed to George Bernard Shaw     and others) __________________________________

It gets under my skin and crawls.                                                       Mrs. Ann Connor

I go up Calvary every day.                                                                       Mrs. Ann Connor           


Night is irregular. What is not done in the daytime becomes possible at night...murder and sex and thought.         

 Alexei Panshin  - The Thurb Revolution


"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The cat's in the bag and the bag's in the river. 

 From Sweet Smell Of Success

In confusion there is profit. 

 From Operation Petticoat

Circumstances in this country conspire to annoy me. 

 From Teahouse Of  The August Moon


Mount Up And Ride to the Sound of the Guns    Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. 

John Madden

Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard, If it was easy everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great.

 From A League Of Their Own


(above) Gen. MacArthur Accepts Japanese surrender, USS Missouri Aug. 15, 1945

No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.

Gen. Douglas MacArthur


Take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill-humor.

 Fred Shero Phila. Flyers Stanley Cup Winning Coach

My tongue cannot speak what my eyes have seen.   

 From The Buccaneer

I am but a living ganglion of irreconcilable antagonisms!  


HMS PINAFORE                                                                  

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.   Jonathan Winters

The guilty are the first to speak.

 Frank "Pete" Andaloro - Andaloro Farms Field Manager hors concours

Be who you needed when you were younger.

There are men who walk the streets of hell with souls not half as black.


Get outta my sight and stay there. 


Time marches on, but why does it have to march over me?  


Troubled times may find it necessary to subvert the law to maintain the peace. 


May he die a miserable, bloody death that brings joy to many and sorrow to none. 

What is permissible is not always honorable. – Cicero

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

  • I am not young enough to know everything.

  • The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.

  • I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

  • I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there

  • The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

  • Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

  • Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

  • Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

  • To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

  • Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

  •  I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. 

  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Oscar Wilde

The price of greatness is responsibility.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

  • Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
  • Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
  • Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
  • Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because it has been said, it is the quality which guarantees all others.
  • If you’re going through hell, keep going.
  • All I can say is that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
  • It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
  • Terminological inexactitude.  

Ladies and gentlemen,

Sir Winston Churchill   

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

 Edmund Burke

A true gentleman is a man who knows how to play the bagpipes – but doesn't.

Al Cohn

American Jazz saxophonist, arranger and composer

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.                               Burt Reynolds

I shall always remain above that which is beneath me. ‽__________________

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Robert A. Heinlein

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.

John Huston

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
 Albert Einstein (ABOVE)

"Never memorize something that you can look up.”
― Albert Einstein----------

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
― Albert Einstein

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
― Albert Einstein

“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”
― Albert Einstein


Wilson Mizner (May 19, 1876 – April 3, 1933) was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles, California. He was also a contemporary of and friend to Arnold Rothstein, infamous NYC gambler suspected of orchestrating the 1919 Black Sox scandal. Mizner spent time in Hollywood as a top-paid screenwriter and sometime actor. For more on this fascinating character go to


Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.


Never forget, the press is the enemy. The establishment is the enemy. The professors are the enemy. Professors are the enemy. Write that on a blackboard 100 times and never forget it.

Richard Milhaus Nixon, 37th President Of The United States Of America

Richard Nixon Entering Chicago after the 1968 riots during the Democrat National Convention.